As written in my field journal...
This week proved to be another major first for me. Last week I was with an all girls group – this week I’m with the all rebels group. When a student repeatedly no longer wishes to follow the basic structure of the program then they are pulled from their normal groups and relocated to the Bullfrogs. Here each student is put on what we call separates – AKA individual camps. The kids aren’t to talk or interact with each other and have minimal responsibilities, only tending to the most basic needs – wood, food, sleep, etc. Ig a kid shapes up and decides to follow the structure then they are allowed to work on their phase work. The design of the group is not to have a social or exciting environment. Our instructions this week were to be as boring as we possibly could – limiting our conversation and interaction with the students.
Our fire pit was placed in the middle of an opening amongst the Juniper trees. Each student was assigned their own spot away from each other but still with insight of our camp fire. The instructions are for each individual to dig their own fire pit and sump (a hole for grey water), gather their own wood and tend to their own fires. On rare occasions that everyone is willing to hike are the kids allowed to carry on casual conversations.
This week we had four students in our Bullfrogs group. When Rising Wolf and I were dropped off to relieve the old staff two of the students were already there from the week before. We waited on the side of the road until the other two unfortunate students arrived to discover their new discomfort.
Student Rory upon taking off his blind fold and leaving the vehicle he was moved with realized that he had once again landed in the Bullfrogs and started cursing up a storm. “Ah no! I’m in the Bullfrogs?! That’s it… I’m refusing! - Staff, just so you know I won’t be hiking or following any directives. I’m done.” (translated and filtered for both your and my comfort.) The fourth student to arrive was Jacob, the notorious runner from last week. He had become overly compliant with the program yet at the same time pled innocence to the world. I assume Bullfrogs was to give the kid some alone time to think.
After a few moments when all the people who needed to see us had seen us, Rising Wolf pulled the group together to offer a brief introduction and to outline the week and structure of Bullfrogs group. He offered that we didn’t exactly know why nor really cared why they were now in the Bullfrogs or in RCA for that matter – but that we were going to make the best of the situation anyhow. After answering a few questions the kids seemed to calm down a bit and put their packs on ready to hike.
We didn’t push them too hard and took lots of breaks for fear of one of them giving up and sitting down on the trail. A few miles down the road we set up camp and then day hiked for water. Once back at camp we started the dinner process beginning with bowing time – a chance for kids to work on their fire sets and ultimately make a fire. Only two of the kids managed any success to build fires in their pits. The other two went without, sitting down in their cold camps defeated. There was no safety concern with the temperatures so we simply told the kids to layer up and keep bowing. When dinner came around the two ‘withouts’ were allowed to cook on our fire and then retire back to their spots.
More to be posted later!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Random...
Crazy week!
The Grand Canyon opened up and and business at the lodge is booming. I can't seem to find any free time for myself anymore! I'll try and get some more stories up here this next week when I return from the woods...
I love it when...
- someone gives me a high five as they walk by, just because.
- I can look someone in the eyes and smile.
- I can offer service to someone else's customer out of the goodness of my heart - not expecting to be tipped.
- Customers are patient with me when I blunder repeatedly.
- I can lay down to rest and sleep the whole night through.
- "thank you" naturally comes out of my mouth.
The Grand Canyon opened up and and business at the lodge is booming. I can't seem to find any free time for myself anymore! I'll try and get some more stories up here this next week when I return from the woods...
I love it when...
- someone gives me a high five as they walk by, just because.
- I can look someone in the eyes and smile.
- I can offer service to someone else's customer out of the goodness of my heart - not expecting to be tipped.
- Customers are patient with me when I blunder repeatedly.
- I can lay down to rest and sleep the whole night through.
- "thank you" naturally comes out of my mouth.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
This, I Believe: Fasting – Getting to a high place
I want to find a correlation between giving up food for a certain period of time and getting to a high place as a form of offering up gratitude, receiving additional guidance, and asking for special blessings.
As a child growing up in my parent’s home, we would hold a morning fast each month. We weren’t ever quite organized enough to do a full twenty four hour fast – so we would skip breakfast before church and then eat our normal Sunday late lunch/early dinner. I went through the motions but didn’t start understanding for myself the real purpose of the fast until while on my mission and after.
I often wonder what fasting does for me other than a simple expression to the Lord of compliance. I’m sure He knows how much we love food and our natural tendency to settle the desires of our flesh, and the challenge it creates for us to abstain from food or drink for twenty four hours. Showing self discipline and control for a spiritual purpose would certainly please Him.
I’m sure that deity appreciates our willingness to raise funds with our fast offerings to feed those in need around the world. I’m also fairly sure that the Lord has a few chuckles each time a young child declares to his mother that he will surely die of starvation without breakfast that Sunday morning…
Besides these reasons and several more that could be noted – I believe fasting creates for us an opportunity to be humbled.
During my childhood I became extremely overweight. It was starting to affect almost every part of my life in a negative way. I couldn’t function like others my age could and my physical activities were extensively restricted. After barely surviving freshman football I was encouraged by a good friend and mentor to turn out for wrestling. It wasn’t until the end of the season that I could do a full set of twenty pushups. At some point during every practice I was on the brink of tears. No matter how hard I trained or perfected my moves I didn’t win a match for months, finding my only competition with those 100 pounds lighter than I.
After one particularly difficult practice I found myself in the coach’s office with my chin down and my eyes glued to the floor. I had nearly reached complete and total exhaustion both physically and emotionally. I remember a distinct feeling of complete helplessness. Inside I was pleading for help or instruction – and was more ready to receive it than at any other moment on the mat. I was a broken man, a warm ball of wax begging to be molded.
Over the last couple of years and with my recent weekly fasts I’ve discovered a similar feeling that I experience after having skipped consecutive meals. My body feels weakened, I’m slightly light headed, and my mood becomes a little more somber. With the added onset of some anxiety, that same feeling of helplessness kicks in and I turn into a dry sponge soaking up water. The likeliness of my accepting of any teaching/instruction/help drastically increases.
With this connection of physical exhaustion leading to brokenness and humility, it’s no wonder why Moses was required to climb a large mountain to receive instruction of the Lord, nor why the temple is also referred to symbolically as the Mountain of the Lord.
As a child growing up in my parent’s home, we would hold a morning fast each month. We weren’t ever quite organized enough to do a full twenty four hour fast – so we would skip breakfast before church and then eat our normal Sunday late lunch/early dinner. I went through the motions but didn’t start understanding for myself the real purpose of the fast until while on my mission and after.
I often wonder what fasting does for me other than a simple expression to the Lord of compliance. I’m sure He knows how much we love food and our natural tendency to settle the desires of our flesh, and the challenge it creates for us to abstain from food or drink for twenty four hours. Showing self discipline and control for a spiritual purpose would certainly please Him.
I’m sure that deity appreciates our willingness to raise funds with our fast offerings to feed those in need around the world. I’m also fairly sure that the Lord has a few chuckles each time a young child declares to his mother that he will surely die of starvation without breakfast that Sunday morning…
Besides these reasons and several more that could be noted – I believe fasting creates for us an opportunity to be humbled.
During my childhood I became extremely overweight. It was starting to affect almost every part of my life in a negative way. I couldn’t function like others my age could and my physical activities were extensively restricted. After barely surviving freshman football I was encouraged by a good friend and mentor to turn out for wrestling. It wasn’t until the end of the season that I could do a full set of twenty pushups. At some point during every practice I was on the brink of tears. No matter how hard I trained or perfected my moves I didn’t win a match for months, finding my only competition with those 100 pounds lighter than I.
After one particularly difficult practice I found myself in the coach’s office with my chin down and my eyes glued to the floor. I had nearly reached complete and total exhaustion both physically and emotionally. I remember a distinct feeling of complete helplessness. Inside I was pleading for help or instruction – and was more ready to receive it than at any other moment on the mat. I was a broken man, a warm ball of wax begging to be molded.
Over the last couple of years and with my recent weekly fasts I’ve discovered a similar feeling that I experience after having skipped consecutive meals. My body feels weakened, I’m slightly light headed, and my mood becomes a little more somber. With the added onset of some anxiety, that same feeling of helplessness kicks in and I turn into a dry sponge soaking up water. The likeliness of my accepting of any teaching/instruction/help drastically increases.
With this connection of physical exhaustion leading to brokenness and humility, it’s no wonder why Moses was required to climb a large mountain to receive instruction of the Lord, nor why the temple is also referred to symbolically as the Mountain of the Lord.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
This, I Believe
This, I believe...
When out in the woods I find myself with lots of time to think and ponder about random things. These thoughts range from ways to improve my dinner pot that night to brilliant breakthroughs that surprise even myself. I want to start getting some of this down on paper before I forget it, so I’ve decided to add a third section to my blog illustrating some things that I believe to be true. Most of my writing is done in the field – so I won’t have a lot of access to sources to pool from. If I can recall something that I’ve learned in the past then I will conclude that it has become part of my general opinion and won’t hesitate in including it.
Also – as these writings reflect speculations/ideas/thoughts/theories that I currently hold as belief – they stand apart from those things that I know to be true. I accept that over time and with experience that they may change, adjust, be discarded, or possibly develop into something that I know to be true.
For this reason I title these writings, “This, I believe…”
Here are some things that I’ve been thinking about lately and plan to write about:
- Trust – How society operates
- Debt – avoid it
- The purpose of a fast/getting to a high place
- Sin – a necessary evil
- Adaptive Child vs Alma challenge
When out in the woods I find myself with lots of time to think and ponder about random things. These thoughts range from ways to improve my dinner pot that night to brilliant breakthroughs that surprise even myself. I want to start getting some of this down on paper before I forget it, so I’ve decided to add a third section to my blog illustrating some things that I believe to be true. Most of my writing is done in the field – so I won’t have a lot of access to sources to pool from. If I can recall something that I’ve learned in the past then I will conclude that it has become part of my general opinion and won’t hesitate in including it.
Also – as these writings reflect speculations/ideas/thoughts/theories that I currently hold as belief – they stand apart from those things that I know to be true. I accept that over time and with experience that they may change, adjust, be discarded, or possibly develop into something that I know to be true.
For this reason I title these writings, “This, I believe…”
Here are some things that I’ve been thinking about lately and plan to write about:
- Trust – How society operates
- Debt – avoid it
- The purpose of a fast/getting to a high place
- Sin – a necessary evil
- Adaptive Child vs Alma challenge
Thursday, April 15, 2010
RCA - Bobcats!! 7-14 April
This week I took time in the field to write out my stories… The writing isn’t as well done, but it does account for my activities.
As written in my Field Journal…
7-14 April, 2010
This week I was assigned to the Bobcats. I was excited to return to their group - they were a lot of fun three weeks ago with Rising Wolf and Cedar Elk. Last week at Shindig the Bobcats did a ‘Meow Mix’ count off in honor of Blue Ridge’s cat. “Bobcats! Count Off!!!” “One! Meow meow meow” “Two! Meow meow meow” “Three! Meow meow meow…” Blue Ridge was my H.I. again this week so at our first camp site the boys did it again.
Another reason I was looking forward to the Bobcats was to return to the origins of my student given earth name. Western Stubby Shadow Dream Wrecker – Western Stubby for short. Stubby because I almost cut off my ginger, Western because I’m always happy, Shadow because I come from the unknown, and finally Dream Wrecker because I crush the dreams of developing teenagers. Student Aaron had a write up and everything for me – awaiting the day I returned. This week Aaron was with us for about twenty minutes. He was moved to the Eagles to try and humble his reign among the Bobcats. He said he’d pass the write up on to another staff to give to me. I don’t really care about it – it just makes for a fun story.
The Bobcats are probably the more functional group in the field. Two red suits that haven’t been much trouble… musical mornings, poem time at night, riddles, soul questions, and always a couple of British lads…
Last night in the shelter the boys were being awful chattery in their sleeping bags. I told them that if they wanted to continue talking their words had to be in song form. They sang their conversation for a few minutes and then drifted off into their sweet dreams. Snoring has become rather soothing to my ears out here in the woods. If they’re snoring then they’re not awake being sketchy.
I’ve set the goal to do pushups every day out in the field. I also want to make a jump rope somehow. I told the boys my plans and student Trevor suggested we do 25 pushups for every half quart called throughout the day. (As I write this another half quart was called – pushup time) After 150 my chest and arms are super stiff. I’m not sure how the last 50 are going to go…
Hand Drill
Sweet Bear and I were talking about alternate fire sources a few weeks back. I told him that with it being winter I didn’t have access to any materials with all the snow on the ground so he sent me a box of sticks to play around with. My first attempt was in the middle of the lodge back at Jacob Lake. Surprisingly, I got a little bit of punk and a few puffs of smoke. The next week in the field I brought a set along with me. The first day in the field I couldn’t do any better… I blistered my hands and bore through two holes in my fireboard. A few days later one of the kids asked to go tandem with me and my set. I started off drilling first – and noticed that I was producing a significant amount of punk and smoke rather quickly. I told student Calvin that I was going to go solo on this one. I bit my lip and put more down pressure on the shaft. A few moments later I had a glowing coal as fat as any bow drill could make. Whoa!! I hurried for my nesting bag and threw together a small nest to blow into flame. I blew that baby into flame and shouted for joy. I had now joined the elite group of hand rill fire makers – and had a pound of M&Ms coming my way :)
The next time I brought out my hand drill shaft was half the size and not worth newly blistering my hands. I let the kids mess around with my set for a bit – student Trevor got fairly close with it. My co-staff Blue Ridge pulled out a new shaft and tried his luck with hand drill. After a few hours of off and on attempts he got a coal as well! I borrowed his shaft and busted a coal in a few minutes :)
Mind over Matter
The weather this week was way too nice to be hauling around my wool pants – they stayed at home. Wednesday Night was beautiful! My 0 degree bag held its own, the fleece liner being almost too much. Thursday night however was a different story, the skies were clear and it dropped down to 23*. I put on all my layers around the fire pit and still didn’t stop shivering until I drank a hot cup of rice milk with cinnamon – AKA Orchata. About this time I looked around at the kids and noticed that not a single one of them had their jackets on. A few of them were only in their t-shirts even! I thought to myself – “Mind over matter – If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.
Hand Cart
Some groups are assigned a hand cart for various reasons. Sometimes there are hiking restrictions placed on students for health reasons such as being extremely over or under weight. Other times groups get them simply to build team work. The Bobcats had two underweight students and therefore were placed under a four mile hiking restriction with a hand cart. The boys toll their packs like normal and put them in the cart to pull. As we were explaining how to use the cart properly and where each student should be – a memory came back to me of when my family went to Martin’s Cove with the Strickers several years back. Baylei was in the yoke of one of the carts we were taking a picture with. I scurried around to the back of the cart singing, “for some must push and some must pull…” I smiled to myself and went on with the training. Haha – I did NOT sing that one to the boys out loud.
Sling
A few months back I was very grateful that I wasn’t a ten foot giant named Goliath when a student struck me right in the middle of the forehead. This week I found an old leather glove and was about to throw away when the young Philistine David come to mind. I cut out an oval piece from the back side of the glove and poked a hole on each side. I cut two arms length pieces of parachute cord and fastened one to each side of the leather. On one end I tied a loop to fasten to my middle finger and on the other a knot to hold between my thumb and pointer finger. With that – I had myself a stone hurler, also known as a sling. During breaks I’ve been pulling it out to practice on fleeing students. Just kidding. I can hurl stones into the stratosphere but can’t seem to hit a tree twenty feet in front of me. I think I’m meant for more the artillery slinger than the sniper. After spending several weeks with me and after observing me weave my own chair seat, develop the Natural Child 3000, a bailing wire jump rope, and a few other crazy things, student Joe in his British accent commented, “You’re really productive Dave… just something I’ve noticed…”
In trying to hone in my slinging skills I’ve had several fall out/back fires of which a few have come close to hitting students. One time a kid had to pull a matrix move to keep from getting one in the face. “Dave! You’re going to kill me!” My response of course was, “Nah James, I don’t kill, I just hurt or maim.” British Joe developed a “Lat tee da” chant for every foolish thing that I did, “Law Suit!” I smiled and told him to shut it, with a wink.
Bungalo
There are a number of RCA games that the kids pass on through the generations. Some of them are group games that they play around a fire, some while on hikes, and others that you get tricked into. If some one calls your name and you offer a positive response twice in a row, they then start chanting, “Let me see you Bungalo, let me see you bun-ga-lo.” After which they go into a rhythmic chant repeating, “Bung – ga – lo, bung, bung – ga – lo – o.” The person being ‘Bungaloed” then starts out by singing, ‘My hands are high, my feet are low, and this is how I bungalo.” After which he breaks out an interpretive dance to the chanting of “Bung – ga – lo, bung, bung – ga – lo – o.”
I hate being bungaloed. HATE IT. Student James was on the other side of the fire put doing some phase work while I was doing paperwork at my desk in my office – the other side of the fire pit. Student Will to my right engaged me in a conversation after which James called out my name. Yeah? He called my name once more. Maybe he didn’t hear? I repeated a little bit louder. “Yeah?!” As soon as the word left my mouth I knew I’d been had. James almost instantly jumped to his feet and shouted, “Let me see you Bungalo, let me see you bungalow. I glared at James as the whole group joined in singing, “Bung – ga – lo, bung, bung – ga – lo – o.” I stood up, did a few twirls, the granny shimmy, and finished off with an HJ dead fish head banger move. The next night the kids got me again with the same setup! RAGE! I’m learning to respond to my name with ‘what!’ rather than a ‘yeah?’ Stupid Kids. (smile)
A Blue Ridge Moment
Friday morning was a slow morning for the kids. It took them several hours longer than the day before to get out of camp. In waiting for certain kids to finish their chores and pack up, Blue Ridge and I pulled out our slings and started hurling rocks. He was going for precision and I for distance. When one of us made a breakthrough in technique we would share it with the other. After awhile the string around my finger was rubbing off skin so I had to put away my sling. Almost instantly my ADD kicked in and I started gather round flat rocks around camp and discuss through them out off into the trees. Blue Ridge threw a few as well until his shoulder started acting up, to which he went back to observing the kids from his camp chair. Student Trevor had been watching me spin with the rocks and asked to have a go at it for himself. His first time wasn’t too bad – especially for being in the woods throwing unbalanced rocks. With a few pointers he had a good rhythm going. It felt good to slip into coaching mode for a bit. When that was no longer amusing to either of us I sat down next to Blue Ridge and drug my fingers around in the dirt. I noticed a dirt billie (coffee can) about ten feet away and started throwing pebbles at it. After a few minutes I could get most of my throws to go in. Blue Ridge was on the Radio with one hand and searching for small rocks with the other. He missed every single one. I was looking down and around for a few more pebbles when I caught out of the corner of my eye a huge rock flying at the billie. The baseball sized rock sent the billie another fifteen feet away landing upside down. “Oh, great…” I looked over at Blue Ridge who calmly looked away as if nothing had happened. He might have even started whistling.
Peace – like the Mountain.
Two months ago as an intern I spent a night with the Bobcats where I was first introduced to Joe from London. He was fairly new and there for mistook me for ‘Therapist Dave’ and thought I was there to give some sort of therapy or group discussion. I worked with Joe a couple more times – the next a few weeks later in the same group. Joe and I got along fairly well, giving each other a hard time joking around. The boy had a doll face that I didn’t let him live down. His cheeks were just too rosy red to ignore. One time he threw a Juniper berry at me and then quickly looked away as to not be detected. I knew it was him and walked to the nearest Juniper tree where I gathered a hand full of berries. I sat back down, and proceeded to throw berry after berry until I had no more left. Throughout the rest of the week at random I would unload on the kid with Juni-berries.
Our relationship deepened when he was moving a bit slow one morning. We were getting out of our sleeping bags to leave the shelter and I was at the very end right after Joe. It was his turn to bundle his stuff up and exit the shelter but he had yet to get out of his bed. I gently encouraged him to hurry his butt up because I had to water a bush like no other. He smiled at me and over exaturated how slow he was going. At this I raised my voice yelling, “Joe! Get out of the shelter before I pee on your face!” Startled with surprise Joe jumped up and got himself out.
Another time I wouldn’t pass off his Plant Identification for phase 5 because he couldn’t tell me that the needle of a Prickly Pear is especially useful because it’s sterile. Haha, I made the poor kid start over. A week later we met again at Shindig where Joe was wearing a bone mask made from what he called a ‘cow anus’ that he had found that week along the trail. I couldn’t resist and commented (with a smile) that I had a hard time telling the difference between a cows butt bone and his face. Now back to the present – this week I was walking behind him as he pushed the handcart with the rest of the group, I noticed his shoes were untied and tried telling him a number of times. Either he couldn’t hear me or didn’t’ care to respond because I didn’t get any reaction from him. I thought to myself, maybe by stepping on the lace I could get his attention. I skipped up real quiet like and put my foot down on one of his already tattered shoe laces. To my surprise – instead of tripping the boy up the lace broke off under my foot. Embarrassed I slowed my walk and hid my giggle as he moved forward with only half a lace on his untied shoe.
With this background of the interaction I’ve been able to have with student Joe – I continue on by telling about one of the more special experiences I’ve been able to have with RCA.
All week Blue Ridge and I had been talking the kids up about the Petro cliffs nearby. We promised a day hike to visit them if we could get close enough and had enough time. These cliffs were especially cool because ancient tribes would use them to ceremonially bid farewell to their Elders. On our layover day the kids all did their full body hygiene (showers) early enough to buy us some time to go visit. We hiked into a long valley with mountains on each side. Petro cliffs to one side and a mountain with a rock shoulder on the other. When the Elders were about to die they went themselves or were brought to that place to spend their last moments. A supply of wood was kept there for the Elder to continually feed the fire until he passed. Others from the Petro cliffs on the other side of the valley would watch for the fire to die out – signifying the death of the Elder.
We hiked about a mile up a hill to find natural washouts with Anasazi type paintings on the inside. And sure enough – across the valley we could clearly see the cliff shoulder where so many years ago Elders of the tribe went to die. We looked around for a bit, did a half quart, and sat down for a break. Blue Ridge came over to me and snuck a student knife into my pocket asking me if I’d ever done a knifing before. I hadn’t. Nervously I zipped up my pocket and took a moment to gather my thoughts. We had been planning to knife Joe since the beginning of the week - so naturally I thought about what I would say if it was I that was to knife someone. Trust was something that I had had on the mind for several days now and thought this an excellent time to share my thoughts.
I called the kids over to a drop down ledge sheltered from the wind. My voice changed to my teaching voice and I began my trust speech. I tried to make it appear as unplanned out as possible by commenting on the beautiful view and how sometimes it’s good to climb a high place to be able to see the bigger picture. Each student is here for different reasons – maybe drug or other abuse, emotional problems, etc. Whatever the reason – it all boils down to trust. I quoted the field saying, “trust is lost in bucketfuls and gained back in spoonfuls.” For one reason or another we’ve lost that trust and were thus sent here to try and return to the basics. Again it’s good to take a step back, get pulled out of our everyday lives every once in awhile and try to catch the vision once more. We often lose sight of our goal or overall purpose with tedious daily tasks.
I shifted my comments to those of symbols. “Symbols play a great part in today’s society.” I corrected myself, “Symbols used to play a huge role in our society. A hand shake was considered more binding that a signature, a flag more meaningful and uniting… Today we’ve lost a lot of those positive symbols that serve as reminders of trust and integrity.” I took a moment to pause, “and we all know how easy it is to lose sight of that – to no longer be considered worthy of a loved one’s trust.” I continued, “In returning to the basics here at RedCliff, we like to use symbols and tokens to reward and recognize trust.” I motioned towards Trevor and said that that symbol is the one hanging around our necks. Both he and I were wearing our knives from our necks. I pulled out a new student knife from my pocket and called Joe forward. “Joe – Blue Ridge, myself, and your therapist feel that you have earned staff trust – and we would therefore like to knife you in this moment. Come on up.”
I picked up a stone and had Joe throw it as far off the mountain as he could to signify his advancement from the Stone Age. I then tried to put the lanyard over his head but his boonie hat was just too big. We both laughed as he took it off and we tried again. I offered to the rest of the group that they always live a life worthy of a knife. We gave the boys a few minutes to spread out a little and enjoy the view and take some time to think. Smiling, I sat down next to Blue Ridge. We were both on the verge of tears! We shared some thoughts with each other on how it was those sorts of good times that make this job worth it. He pounded my fist and said good job on my first knifing.
That night I read in Trevor’s journal “…there was this moment lying on the hill/mountain that I felt total inner peace and contentment.” I had felt it as well. With all the things going on in life that were weighing my heart down I could look out over God’s great creation and know that everything was going to be okay. Today on top of a mountain I was able to witness a moment of growth for a young man and take a moment to reflect upon my own life. It was on top of that mountain when a peaceful moment took over my life. Truly, ‘Peace like the Mountains.”
Lost and Found Auctions!!
Each night before bed the kids are asked to secure their things by their packs. After the kids are in the shelter tucked away snuggly in their sleeping bags I do a sweep of the fire pit and pick up left behind items. The most common lost and found items are water bottles and leather gloves. The first night I was easy on the few that had lost their things. “Please secure your gear at night boys.” I gave Joe and James back their things. The next night I reminded them again to put their stuff away by their packs. Surprisingly enough I found even more things that the night before! I gathered them up and stowed them by my chair.
The next morning during breakfast I pulled out an armful of student gear and sat down around the fire. I cleared my throat several times to catch everyone’s attention and set the items out one at a time in front of me. Joe’s gaze hit the dirt as he saw that two thirds of the items were his. I explained to the group that we were going to hold an auction and that they could bid for their things back. James lucked out and got his Nalgene back with a promise to not leave it out again. A leather glove went back to its owner for a free bungalo. Joe however couldn’t think up enough things to bid with to get all his possessions back. His water bottle went back fairly easy as well as his leather gloves. The main item of the morning was his willow bow. Nothing that he was offering was appealing to me so I opened the bidding to the group. I was tempted to sell to the kids offering to reject their portions of meat and cheese enabling leftovers to go to staff... Blue Ridge however came across with the deal breaker. He pulled out his bag of hand drill M&Ms and threw them in my lap. “Done.” I handed Blue Ridge the bow, to which Joe buried his face in his lap moaning ‘nooo!!!’
Blue Ridge played along for a few minutes until he gave Joe back his bow. To further Joe’s anxiety about his most prized possession Blue Ridge whittled his name into the bark. “Well since it’s mine I might as well have my name on it…” Haha I love that man. By the end of the week the kids had gotten tired of having their stuff being snatched away and secured it with the packs.
Poems
Every night before dinner the kids write a page in their journal recording the day’s events. On the other side of their journal entry they write half a page about their therapeutic goal and then an original poem of their choice. Some kids will let you read their journals and poems which I enjoy very much. Sometimes I’ll leave feedback or write down inspiring quotes that I think are relevant to what they have written about. Other times I will add a short poem of my own to the end of theirs. I recorded a portion of Trevor’s poem and my own that I added to illustrate.
Trevor:
I’m coming back to you at last,
Will it be the way it was in the past?
Whatever it is at least I’ll know,
If I should stay or if I should go.
To which I responded:
Or if not, others can be sought
With qualities like her, to make your heart stir.
The woods is turning me into quite the poet I’d say! :)
A moment of group A.D.D.
To illustrate how A.D.D. we all sometimes are… here’s an experience we had last week.
I was asking student Will what he was working on when I noticed a plane behind him in the sky going extremely fast. I commented saying, “Whoa, that plane is going fast!” To which student Trevor looked up and said, “Yeah that plane is going… Whoa that’s a pretty cloud!”
Here it is again:
Me – Will, what are you working… Whoa, that plane is going fast!
Trevor – Yeah that plane is going… Whoa that’s a pretty cloud!
We both looked at each other and laughed. :)
As written in my Field Journal…
7-14 April, 2010
This week I was assigned to the Bobcats. I was excited to return to their group - they were a lot of fun three weeks ago with Rising Wolf and Cedar Elk. Last week at Shindig the Bobcats did a ‘Meow Mix’ count off in honor of Blue Ridge’s cat. “Bobcats! Count Off!!!” “One! Meow meow meow” “Two! Meow meow meow” “Three! Meow meow meow…” Blue Ridge was my H.I. again this week so at our first camp site the boys did it again.
Another reason I was looking forward to the Bobcats was to return to the origins of my student given earth name. Western Stubby Shadow Dream Wrecker – Western Stubby for short. Stubby because I almost cut off my ginger, Western because I’m always happy, Shadow because I come from the unknown, and finally Dream Wrecker because I crush the dreams of developing teenagers. Student Aaron had a write up and everything for me – awaiting the day I returned. This week Aaron was with us for about twenty minutes. He was moved to the Eagles to try and humble his reign among the Bobcats. He said he’d pass the write up on to another staff to give to me. I don’t really care about it – it just makes for a fun story.
The Bobcats are probably the more functional group in the field. Two red suits that haven’t been much trouble… musical mornings, poem time at night, riddles, soul questions, and always a couple of British lads…
Last night in the shelter the boys were being awful chattery in their sleeping bags. I told them that if they wanted to continue talking their words had to be in song form. They sang their conversation for a few minutes and then drifted off into their sweet dreams. Snoring has become rather soothing to my ears out here in the woods. If they’re snoring then they’re not awake being sketchy.
I’ve set the goal to do pushups every day out in the field. I also want to make a jump rope somehow. I told the boys my plans and student Trevor suggested we do 25 pushups for every half quart called throughout the day. (As I write this another half quart was called – pushup time) After 150 my chest and arms are super stiff. I’m not sure how the last 50 are going to go…
Hand Drill
Sweet Bear and I were talking about alternate fire sources a few weeks back. I told him that with it being winter I didn’t have access to any materials with all the snow on the ground so he sent me a box of sticks to play around with. My first attempt was in the middle of the lodge back at Jacob Lake. Surprisingly, I got a little bit of punk and a few puffs of smoke. The next week in the field I brought a set along with me. The first day in the field I couldn’t do any better… I blistered my hands and bore through two holes in my fireboard. A few days later one of the kids asked to go tandem with me and my set. I started off drilling first – and noticed that I was producing a significant amount of punk and smoke rather quickly. I told student Calvin that I was going to go solo on this one. I bit my lip and put more down pressure on the shaft. A few moments later I had a glowing coal as fat as any bow drill could make. Whoa!! I hurried for my nesting bag and threw together a small nest to blow into flame. I blew that baby into flame and shouted for joy. I had now joined the elite group of hand rill fire makers – and had a pound of M&Ms coming my way :)
The next time I brought out my hand drill shaft was half the size and not worth newly blistering my hands. I let the kids mess around with my set for a bit – student Trevor got fairly close with it. My co-staff Blue Ridge pulled out a new shaft and tried his luck with hand drill. After a few hours of off and on attempts he got a coal as well! I borrowed his shaft and busted a coal in a few minutes :)
Mind over Matter
The weather this week was way too nice to be hauling around my wool pants – they stayed at home. Wednesday Night was beautiful! My 0 degree bag held its own, the fleece liner being almost too much. Thursday night however was a different story, the skies were clear and it dropped down to 23*. I put on all my layers around the fire pit and still didn’t stop shivering until I drank a hot cup of rice milk with cinnamon – AKA Orchata. About this time I looked around at the kids and noticed that not a single one of them had their jackets on. A few of them were only in their t-shirts even! I thought to myself – “Mind over matter – If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.
Hand Cart
Some groups are assigned a hand cart for various reasons. Sometimes there are hiking restrictions placed on students for health reasons such as being extremely over or under weight. Other times groups get them simply to build team work. The Bobcats had two underweight students and therefore were placed under a four mile hiking restriction with a hand cart. The boys toll their packs like normal and put them in the cart to pull. As we were explaining how to use the cart properly and where each student should be – a memory came back to me of when my family went to Martin’s Cove with the Strickers several years back. Baylei was in the yoke of one of the carts we were taking a picture with. I scurried around to the back of the cart singing, “for some must push and some must pull…” I smiled to myself and went on with the training. Haha – I did NOT sing that one to the boys out loud.
Sling
A few months back I was very grateful that I wasn’t a ten foot giant named Goliath when a student struck me right in the middle of the forehead. This week I found an old leather glove and was about to throw away when the young Philistine David come to mind. I cut out an oval piece from the back side of the glove and poked a hole on each side. I cut two arms length pieces of parachute cord and fastened one to each side of the leather. On one end I tied a loop to fasten to my middle finger and on the other a knot to hold between my thumb and pointer finger. With that – I had myself a stone hurler, also known as a sling. During breaks I’ve been pulling it out to practice on fleeing students. Just kidding. I can hurl stones into the stratosphere but can’t seem to hit a tree twenty feet in front of me. I think I’m meant for more the artillery slinger than the sniper. After spending several weeks with me and after observing me weave my own chair seat, develop the Natural Child 3000, a bailing wire jump rope, and a few other crazy things, student Joe in his British accent commented, “You’re really productive Dave… just something I’ve noticed…”
In trying to hone in my slinging skills I’ve had several fall out/back fires of which a few have come close to hitting students. One time a kid had to pull a matrix move to keep from getting one in the face. “Dave! You’re going to kill me!” My response of course was, “Nah James, I don’t kill, I just hurt or maim.” British Joe developed a “Lat tee da” chant for every foolish thing that I did, “Law Suit!” I smiled and told him to shut it, with a wink.
Bungalo
There are a number of RCA games that the kids pass on through the generations. Some of them are group games that they play around a fire, some while on hikes, and others that you get tricked into. If some one calls your name and you offer a positive response twice in a row, they then start chanting, “Let me see you Bungalo, let me see you bun-ga-lo.” After which they go into a rhythmic chant repeating, “Bung – ga – lo, bung, bung – ga – lo – o.” The person being ‘Bungaloed” then starts out by singing, ‘My hands are high, my feet are low, and this is how I bungalo.” After which he breaks out an interpretive dance to the chanting of “Bung – ga – lo, bung, bung – ga – lo – o.”
I hate being bungaloed. HATE IT. Student James was on the other side of the fire put doing some phase work while I was doing paperwork at my desk in my office – the other side of the fire pit. Student Will to my right engaged me in a conversation after which James called out my name. Yeah? He called my name once more. Maybe he didn’t hear? I repeated a little bit louder. “Yeah?!” As soon as the word left my mouth I knew I’d been had. James almost instantly jumped to his feet and shouted, “Let me see you Bungalo, let me see you bungalow. I glared at James as the whole group joined in singing, “Bung – ga – lo, bung, bung – ga – lo – o.” I stood up, did a few twirls, the granny shimmy, and finished off with an HJ dead fish head banger move. The next night the kids got me again with the same setup! RAGE! I’m learning to respond to my name with ‘what!’ rather than a ‘yeah?’ Stupid Kids. (smile)
A Blue Ridge Moment
Friday morning was a slow morning for the kids. It took them several hours longer than the day before to get out of camp. In waiting for certain kids to finish their chores and pack up, Blue Ridge and I pulled out our slings and started hurling rocks. He was going for precision and I for distance. When one of us made a breakthrough in technique we would share it with the other. After awhile the string around my finger was rubbing off skin so I had to put away my sling. Almost instantly my ADD kicked in and I started gather round flat rocks around camp and discuss through them out off into the trees. Blue Ridge threw a few as well until his shoulder started acting up, to which he went back to observing the kids from his camp chair. Student Trevor had been watching me spin with the rocks and asked to have a go at it for himself. His first time wasn’t too bad – especially for being in the woods throwing unbalanced rocks. With a few pointers he had a good rhythm going. It felt good to slip into coaching mode for a bit. When that was no longer amusing to either of us I sat down next to Blue Ridge and drug my fingers around in the dirt. I noticed a dirt billie (coffee can) about ten feet away and started throwing pebbles at it. After a few minutes I could get most of my throws to go in. Blue Ridge was on the Radio with one hand and searching for small rocks with the other. He missed every single one. I was looking down and around for a few more pebbles when I caught out of the corner of my eye a huge rock flying at the billie. The baseball sized rock sent the billie another fifteen feet away landing upside down. “Oh, great…” I looked over at Blue Ridge who calmly looked away as if nothing had happened. He might have even started whistling.
Peace – like the Mountain.
Two months ago as an intern I spent a night with the Bobcats where I was first introduced to Joe from London. He was fairly new and there for mistook me for ‘Therapist Dave’ and thought I was there to give some sort of therapy or group discussion. I worked with Joe a couple more times – the next a few weeks later in the same group. Joe and I got along fairly well, giving each other a hard time joking around. The boy had a doll face that I didn’t let him live down. His cheeks were just too rosy red to ignore. One time he threw a Juniper berry at me and then quickly looked away as to not be detected. I knew it was him and walked to the nearest Juniper tree where I gathered a hand full of berries. I sat back down, and proceeded to throw berry after berry until I had no more left. Throughout the rest of the week at random I would unload on the kid with Juni-berries.
Our relationship deepened when he was moving a bit slow one morning. We were getting out of our sleeping bags to leave the shelter and I was at the very end right after Joe. It was his turn to bundle his stuff up and exit the shelter but he had yet to get out of his bed. I gently encouraged him to hurry his butt up because I had to water a bush like no other. He smiled at me and over exaturated how slow he was going. At this I raised my voice yelling, “Joe! Get out of the shelter before I pee on your face!” Startled with surprise Joe jumped up and got himself out.
Another time I wouldn’t pass off his Plant Identification for phase 5 because he couldn’t tell me that the needle of a Prickly Pear is especially useful because it’s sterile. Haha, I made the poor kid start over. A week later we met again at Shindig where Joe was wearing a bone mask made from what he called a ‘cow anus’ that he had found that week along the trail. I couldn’t resist and commented (with a smile) that I had a hard time telling the difference between a cows butt bone and his face. Now back to the present – this week I was walking behind him as he pushed the handcart with the rest of the group, I noticed his shoes were untied and tried telling him a number of times. Either he couldn’t hear me or didn’t’ care to respond because I didn’t get any reaction from him. I thought to myself, maybe by stepping on the lace I could get his attention. I skipped up real quiet like and put my foot down on one of his already tattered shoe laces. To my surprise – instead of tripping the boy up the lace broke off under my foot. Embarrassed I slowed my walk and hid my giggle as he moved forward with only half a lace on his untied shoe.
With this background of the interaction I’ve been able to have with student Joe – I continue on by telling about one of the more special experiences I’ve been able to have with RCA.
All week Blue Ridge and I had been talking the kids up about the Petro cliffs nearby. We promised a day hike to visit them if we could get close enough and had enough time. These cliffs were especially cool because ancient tribes would use them to ceremonially bid farewell to their Elders. On our layover day the kids all did their full body hygiene (showers) early enough to buy us some time to go visit. We hiked into a long valley with mountains on each side. Petro cliffs to one side and a mountain with a rock shoulder on the other. When the Elders were about to die they went themselves or were brought to that place to spend their last moments. A supply of wood was kept there for the Elder to continually feed the fire until he passed. Others from the Petro cliffs on the other side of the valley would watch for the fire to die out – signifying the death of the Elder.
We hiked about a mile up a hill to find natural washouts with Anasazi type paintings on the inside. And sure enough – across the valley we could clearly see the cliff shoulder where so many years ago Elders of the tribe went to die. We looked around for a bit, did a half quart, and sat down for a break. Blue Ridge came over to me and snuck a student knife into my pocket asking me if I’d ever done a knifing before. I hadn’t. Nervously I zipped up my pocket and took a moment to gather my thoughts. We had been planning to knife Joe since the beginning of the week - so naturally I thought about what I would say if it was I that was to knife someone. Trust was something that I had had on the mind for several days now and thought this an excellent time to share my thoughts.
I called the kids over to a drop down ledge sheltered from the wind. My voice changed to my teaching voice and I began my trust speech. I tried to make it appear as unplanned out as possible by commenting on the beautiful view and how sometimes it’s good to climb a high place to be able to see the bigger picture. Each student is here for different reasons – maybe drug or other abuse, emotional problems, etc. Whatever the reason – it all boils down to trust. I quoted the field saying, “trust is lost in bucketfuls and gained back in spoonfuls.” For one reason or another we’ve lost that trust and were thus sent here to try and return to the basics. Again it’s good to take a step back, get pulled out of our everyday lives every once in awhile and try to catch the vision once more. We often lose sight of our goal or overall purpose with tedious daily tasks.
I shifted my comments to those of symbols. “Symbols play a great part in today’s society.” I corrected myself, “Symbols used to play a huge role in our society. A hand shake was considered more binding that a signature, a flag more meaningful and uniting… Today we’ve lost a lot of those positive symbols that serve as reminders of trust and integrity.” I took a moment to pause, “and we all know how easy it is to lose sight of that – to no longer be considered worthy of a loved one’s trust.” I continued, “In returning to the basics here at RedCliff, we like to use symbols and tokens to reward and recognize trust.” I motioned towards Trevor and said that that symbol is the one hanging around our necks. Both he and I were wearing our knives from our necks. I pulled out a new student knife from my pocket and called Joe forward. “Joe – Blue Ridge, myself, and your therapist feel that you have earned staff trust – and we would therefore like to knife you in this moment. Come on up.”
I picked up a stone and had Joe throw it as far off the mountain as he could to signify his advancement from the Stone Age. I then tried to put the lanyard over his head but his boonie hat was just too big. We both laughed as he took it off and we tried again. I offered to the rest of the group that they always live a life worthy of a knife. We gave the boys a few minutes to spread out a little and enjoy the view and take some time to think. Smiling, I sat down next to Blue Ridge. We were both on the verge of tears! We shared some thoughts with each other on how it was those sorts of good times that make this job worth it. He pounded my fist and said good job on my first knifing.
That night I read in Trevor’s journal “…there was this moment lying on the hill/mountain that I felt total inner peace and contentment.” I had felt it as well. With all the things going on in life that were weighing my heart down I could look out over God’s great creation and know that everything was going to be okay. Today on top of a mountain I was able to witness a moment of growth for a young man and take a moment to reflect upon my own life. It was on top of that mountain when a peaceful moment took over my life. Truly, ‘Peace like the Mountains.”
Lost and Found Auctions!!
Each night before bed the kids are asked to secure their things by their packs. After the kids are in the shelter tucked away snuggly in their sleeping bags I do a sweep of the fire pit and pick up left behind items. The most common lost and found items are water bottles and leather gloves. The first night I was easy on the few that had lost their things. “Please secure your gear at night boys.” I gave Joe and James back their things. The next night I reminded them again to put their stuff away by their packs. Surprisingly enough I found even more things that the night before! I gathered them up and stowed them by my chair.
The next morning during breakfast I pulled out an armful of student gear and sat down around the fire. I cleared my throat several times to catch everyone’s attention and set the items out one at a time in front of me. Joe’s gaze hit the dirt as he saw that two thirds of the items were his. I explained to the group that we were going to hold an auction and that they could bid for their things back. James lucked out and got his Nalgene back with a promise to not leave it out again. A leather glove went back to its owner for a free bungalo. Joe however couldn’t think up enough things to bid with to get all his possessions back. His water bottle went back fairly easy as well as his leather gloves. The main item of the morning was his willow bow. Nothing that he was offering was appealing to me so I opened the bidding to the group. I was tempted to sell to the kids offering to reject their portions of meat and cheese enabling leftovers to go to staff... Blue Ridge however came across with the deal breaker. He pulled out his bag of hand drill M&Ms and threw them in my lap. “Done.” I handed Blue Ridge the bow, to which Joe buried his face in his lap moaning ‘nooo!!!’
Blue Ridge played along for a few minutes until he gave Joe back his bow. To further Joe’s anxiety about his most prized possession Blue Ridge whittled his name into the bark. “Well since it’s mine I might as well have my name on it…” Haha I love that man. By the end of the week the kids had gotten tired of having their stuff being snatched away and secured it with the packs.
Poems
Every night before dinner the kids write a page in their journal recording the day’s events. On the other side of their journal entry they write half a page about their therapeutic goal and then an original poem of their choice. Some kids will let you read their journals and poems which I enjoy very much. Sometimes I’ll leave feedback or write down inspiring quotes that I think are relevant to what they have written about. Other times I will add a short poem of my own to the end of theirs. I recorded a portion of Trevor’s poem and my own that I added to illustrate.
Trevor:
I’m coming back to you at last,
Will it be the way it was in the past?
Whatever it is at least I’ll know,
If I should stay or if I should go.
To which I responded:
Or if not, others can be sought
With qualities like her, to make your heart stir.
The woods is turning me into quite the poet I’d say! :)
A moment of group A.D.D.
To illustrate how A.D.D. we all sometimes are… here’s an experience we had last week.
I was asking student Will what he was working on when I noticed a plane behind him in the sky going extremely fast. I commented saying, “Whoa, that plane is going fast!” To which student Trevor looked up and said, “Yeah that plane is going… Whoa that’s a pretty cloud!”
Here it is again:
Me – Will, what are you working… Whoa, that plane is going fast!
Trevor – Yeah that plane is going… Whoa that’s a pretty cloud!
We both looked at each other and laughed. :)
Saturday, April 3, 2010
RCA Retainer - 11 March, 2010
...As written in my field notebook...
I drove from Veyo this morning to work. I was especially looking forward to this week in the field because of my over stuffed food bag. Back at the lodge I had taken my snack bars to the next level; melted down caramel candies, Reese’s pieces, honey, and butterscotch for a little extra flavor. I had also premade all my bread as well – a full ration of wheat with chives, garlic, salt, and cayenne – rolled out with the rolling pin machine, cut out and baked on cookie sheets. Those babies tasted good in the lodge – I couldn’t imagine how amazing they would taste in the field!
Shotgun, our staff meeting before going into the field, went fairly normal. Nurse Karen gave a presentation on skin diseases and treatment in the field. Because Warrior was gone for the week, Medicine Bull wrote the group assignments on the whiteboard. It brought back feelings from the mission when transfers came along. Bull wrote the group name on the board and then the staff assigned to them underneath. As each group came and went my heart started pumping harder. I had to be coming up soon… nothing. I raised my hand as Bull sat down. “Uh, Med Bull – is there a reason I’m not on the board?” He paused for a moment, walked back to the board and wrote, ‘RT – David.’ “Sorry about that.” The meeting was adjourned and everyone began their final preparations. In passing Bryan mentioned that he had asked to put on Retainer for this week – and that if I wanted we could ask Med Bull to switch us. Med Bull was a little hesitant when we first approached him, “Yeah there’s a reason for that – we’ll keep David on retainer this week.”
I met with Allison briefly to learn Retainer duties and responsibilities. I was basically on call all week and to be an extra hand where needed. She gave me a sheet explain that I wasn’t to be drinking while on call, that I was to be available by phone 24/7, and that I was always to be within an hour of base. She gave me a heads up of a few events that she knew were coming up. “We have an intake tonight, a med run on Friday and a graduation on Monday. So it looks like you’ll get a few days in this week.”
I stowed my pack back in my car and took a shower before heading back down to Veyo. While in the shower, Jordan yelled in through the door, “Hey Dave! Is that you?” Yeah! “Hey come see me before you take off.” Sure thing, is that C.W.? “Nah, it’s Jordan – Lynx.” K - be out in a minute.
I put my blue jeans back on with my new Jacob Lake –North Rim shirt and headed over to Jordan’s office. He sat me down and apologized for not having brought me in earlier. A few weeks back I had requested an interview with him to sign off my internship. Jordan had mistakenly shrugged me off and told me to catch him next week. Well – the next week I returned to find his office empty. Timeliness was going to be an issue because February was coming to an end and time sheets were due. If I wanted to get a pay raise then I needed Jordan’s signature. I should have told him that I instead met with Warrior but thought the conversation would be a good way to build report with Jordan.
…back to work – to be continued later!...
I drove from Veyo this morning to work. I was especially looking forward to this week in the field because of my over stuffed food bag. Back at the lodge I had taken my snack bars to the next level; melted down caramel candies, Reese’s pieces, honey, and butterscotch for a little extra flavor. I had also premade all my bread as well – a full ration of wheat with chives, garlic, salt, and cayenne – rolled out with the rolling pin machine, cut out and baked on cookie sheets. Those babies tasted good in the lodge – I couldn’t imagine how amazing they would taste in the field!
Shotgun, our staff meeting before going into the field, went fairly normal. Nurse Karen gave a presentation on skin diseases and treatment in the field. Because Warrior was gone for the week, Medicine Bull wrote the group assignments on the whiteboard. It brought back feelings from the mission when transfers came along. Bull wrote the group name on the board and then the staff assigned to them underneath. As each group came and went my heart started pumping harder. I had to be coming up soon… nothing. I raised my hand as Bull sat down. “Uh, Med Bull – is there a reason I’m not on the board?” He paused for a moment, walked back to the board and wrote, ‘RT – David.’ “Sorry about that.” The meeting was adjourned and everyone began their final preparations. In passing Bryan mentioned that he had asked to put on Retainer for this week – and that if I wanted we could ask Med Bull to switch us. Med Bull was a little hesitant when we first approached him, “Yeah there’s a reason for that – we’ll keep David on retainer this week.”
I met with Allison briefly to learn Retainer duties and responsibilities. I was basically on call all week and to be an extra hand where needed. She gave me a sheet explain that I wasn’t to be drinking while on call, that I was to be available by phone 24/7, and that I was always to be within an hour of base. She gave me a heads up of a few events that she knew were coming up. “We have an intake tonight, a med run on Friday and a graduation on Monday. So it looks like you’ll get a few days in this week.”
I stowed my pack back in my car and took a shower before heading back down to Veyo. While in the shower, Jordan yelled in through the door, “Hey Dave! Is that you?” Yeah! “Hey come see me before you take off.” Sure thing, is that C.W.? “Nah, it’s Jordan – Lynx.” K - be out in a minute.
I put my blue jeans back on with my new Jacob Lake –North Rim shirt and headed over to Jordan’s office. He sat me down and apologized for not having brought me in earlier. A few weeks back I had requested an interview with him to sign off my internship. Jordan had mistakenly shrugged me off and told me to catch him next week. Well – the next week I returned to find his office empty. Timeliness was going to be an issue because February was coming to an end and time sheets were due. If I wanted to get a pay raise then I needed Jordan’s signature. I should have told him that I instead met with Warrior but thought the conversation would be a good way to build report with Jordan.
…back to work – to be continued later!...
Monday, March 22, 2010
Lodge Locuras
I’m finding that I don’t have near enough time to give a full enough account of my adventures down here. The last few days I’ve been using my breaks to get ready for next my week in the woods - laundry, prepping my food, repacking, cleaning my car - all things that I have to be done before I leave again. I figure it’s smart to do those first and get them out of the way and then go down the list of other things that I should be doing. Sleep is on top of the list of things that I should do more. Writing letters, taking pictures, just relaxing… I’m wondering more and more if working two jobs is the right thing to do.
It was while I was dusting the gift shop (again) that I debated the importance of Jacob Lake in my life. My eyes were glazing over and an all too familiar feeling came over me. It was the same feeling that I get when I spend too much time with my mother wandering isles grocery shopping - I was bored. And not only was I bored, poor lodge management was starting to wear on me. As I rearranged thousand dollar pottery pieces, I weighed the pros and cons like my mother taught me so well. I didn’t have any paper close by me or else I probably would have drawn out a T-Chart to help organize my thoughts. In my moment of frustration the ‘Cons’ were taking a large advantage over the ‘Pros.’ I was not feeling it that day. I was not enjoying how things were going, and felt like my time was extremely limited. It’s almost like returning to my mission days – all day every day. Next came the ‘Pro’ side, which ending up winning the battle – as by my still being here. Working at the lodge gave me a place to stay while not in the woods. Almost like living at home, my room and board was free. I didn’t have to pay rent nor worry about buying food. My only expense has been gas and the occasional oil change. I calculated a $1000 swing to my advantage by staying at the lodge. 1: I earn about $500 a month. 2: I don’t pay rent. (others are paying anywhere from $200 - $500) And 3: I eat for free. With that $500 a month I have been able to pay for all my tithing, gas, and other adventures – enabling me to pocket all my wilderness earnings.
My conclusion was this: I stay at the lodge because of money. 1000 bucks for 10 days work is too good to pass up.
I tell you all of this because it wasn’t a day later that I found myself brought into the manager’s home and sat down on their couch where I was almost fired for misconduct.
We were closing up the kitchen when one of the others yelled for me. “Hey David, La wants to see you.” Slightly confused, I walked out front to see Laura waiting for me. She had me follow her around to the store and into her apartment off to the side. “Come on in, David.” Salesi, her husband, was picking up a few of the scattered toys in the living room and welcomed me in as well. I was directed to the couch where I sat down and wondered what was going on. They seated themselves on a second couch directly across from me. Though I now can’t remember exactly how it started, I know that I saw the schedule notebook in Sale’s hands and thought it might be possible that they wanted to go over my work schedule with me. I was partially correct. La brought it to my attention that the schedule notebook had been tampered with, some rewritten and changed, and now a page was missing. That page was important because they refer to the notebook to see who worked what days when the end of the month comes around and payroll is due. At this point I knew where it was going next. The rewritten part was in my handwriting, and my name was down for the next day’s schedule that they had not yet made.
I sat back in my seat a bit, and pulled a pillow on top of my lap. They knew as well as I did that it had been me. They each took their turn in lecturing me. And, like good missionaries do, they repeated what their companion had said and then further explained it. La sometimes thought it necessary to repeat what Sale had said completely - fearing that I didn’t understand his broken English. Sale sometimes thought that La didn’t explain things well enough and thus repeated all that she had just said. So I got doubly lectured on each point that they wanted to cover.
They felt that I was trying to take over management - which they had ever right to infer. I had no right to touch the schedule notebook, cause for which Sale said that I could be fired. And what’s worse is that several weeks earlier I had taken the initiative to make a schedule sheet on an excel spread sheet. I noticed that La rewrote the same thing every day on a spiral bound notebook, and thought it easier to just print off a premade sheet and fill it out instead. I stapled a handful of sheets together and put them next to the schedule notebook. What I felt was a nice gesture in the moment was being counted as evidence against me.
Part way through the lecture there was an obvious shift. I broke off eye contact, and started fiddling with the pillow on my lap. I bent over and rolled down the legs of my jeans that I had rolled up in the kitchen to keep from getting wet. Sale and La noticed the change as well, and asked me if I was alright. My response was yes, but I was now starting to get a bit irritated. What I thought ‘just lecturing’ turned into half truths and ridicules hearsays. When they had completed their circles around each other, I asked for a moment to say a few things. I pulled out a small composition notebook that I had tucked away in my pocket and scooted to the edge of the couch. My voice cracked when I first started to speak – it had been a good twenty minutes since I had last spoken. I cleared my throat and offered a preface to my pulling out the notebook, “The last couple days I’ve been making a list of things that I wanted to talk to you guys about.” I of course didn’t tell them that I had titled my list, ‘Lodge Locuras.’
I started out by explaining the schedule situation. The night before after closing we were sitting around the dinner counter waiting for whatever was next (maybe it was Mission Prep, maybe Sunday school, I can’t remember…) The schedule notebook was sitting on the corner next to me so I pulled it close and looked it over. In a moment of OCD/ACD, I started copying the schedule over to a new page. La wasn’t very organized and tended to clump everything together. I rewrote the same information on the next page in what I felt a more organized manner. I then took the initiative to write out the next few days as well. I didn’t fill out who was to be working where or when, but set it up similar to my spreadsheet so that La would only have to write in names, nothing else. Once that was done, I put my name down where I thought would work best right before leaving for the woods once again. Having explained that, I concurred that I had no right to touch the schedule, and that it would never happen again. However, I wasn’t going to take blame for the missing page.
I then referred to my list of Lodge Locuras and explained several issues that had occurred that bugged me. My biggest problem was miscommunication. Everyone in the lodge complained about it, but I especially felt it because of the disconnect I had.
Issue #1 - Several weeks ago a backorder bracelet was misplaced. I had talked to the lady the week before, but knew nothing of the bracelet and referred her to another employee. Never associating further with the lady or laying eyes on the bracelet, I left for the woods and thought no more of it. When I returned, the lady had come by to pick it up and to pay the final amount. However the bracelet was nowhere to be found. In Laura’s frustration she pointed fingers at everyone trying to locate the lost bracelet. I had not yet been blamed for misplacing the bracelet so La turned her whirlwinds on me. I told her that I didn’t really know anything – to which she spit out that I was the one who talked with the lady first, and that ‘no one seems to have ever seen the bracelet.’ I felt mistrusted and irritated that she was blaming all of us for losing a bracelet that she should have held on to herself.
Issue #2 – A few weeks ago I was in my room getting ready for the day. I was scheduled to work Rover (the dude who does everything… kind of rotates between gift shop/kitchen/waiter, etc). I assumed that I was to start at 11 instead of 9 because I was going to be helping Sale tile the diner floor again. The last few days we have been starting late morning because Sale usually sleeps in after prepping the floors the night before. I had every reason to believe that I was going to start at eleven like usual. Instead I was summoned by Laura a few hours early and told that I was late. Huh.
To be continued… (break’s over, gotta get back to work…)
-------
And we’re back!
A sub issue to this issue deals with food handlers permits. Apparently we all had to have them in order to work in the kitchen or wait tables. Laura wasn’t entirely sure or informed of the issue so none of us had them. Finally Melinda (another family member) came up for a visit and let us know that we should all get them. I had already started mine the month before – just never got around to finishing it. After finding this out, La told us that no one could work until we had completed the online course. I asked if I should finish it that night, La told me to do it in the morning - yet another reason to believe that I was to come in at 11:00 rather than 9:00.
Issue #3 – The snowmobile gang came in for the weekend and requested a banana cream or lemon morang pie. I let them know that all we had was cherry and blueberry, but that I would put in their request to the kitchen – no promises. I then asked fellow employee Carolyn if she knew how to make either of those pies, because the boys had requested them and had offered to pay double for them :). She said that she might be able to, but that she would have to check with La for permission before starting. I said excellent and washed my hands of the situation. Later when La asked Carolyn why she was making those pies – all hell broke loose in the back bakery. I felt like Carolyn was being picked on rather harshly so I stepped in and offered that I was involved as well. I told my side of the story and left. Well – over the next few hours and into the next day (the day I got pulled into the office) the story evolved into that I had given Carolyn permission to make the pies – leading us back to the original and mother issue of them all – me trying to take over management…
I concluded by saying that I hated the feeling of not being trusted, and offered that our main problem was communication – or a lack thereof. After having explained my side of a lot of things, they understood where I was coming from a lot better. La opened up and told me a bit of her life story – how being a twin she tended to be the one in the shadows trampled over and taken advantage of. This was her big chance to prove that she is capable of manning the lodge and she didn’t want to screw it up. The conclusion that I drew was that in trying to be a good boss she is pumping a lot of energy into her job. However, being the new boss – she feels that her hands have to be in everything and that those things have to be perfect – thus paying too much attention to minor details and ignoring other issues that should take priority.
Oh! – I forgot to mention that during their circle lecturing, they were kind enough to point out a few positive things – that I was a good hard worker, could be trusted with lots of projects, I brought an energy to the lodge, and that they enjoyed having me there.
At the end of our meeting Sale shook my hand and Laura gave me a hug. Though I hated being in the hot seat, I feel like I now have a better understanding of management – even though I disagree with their methods sometimes.
It was while I was dusting the gift shop (again) that I debated the importance of Jacob Lake in my life. My eyes were glazing over and an all too familiar feeling came over me. It was the same feeling that I get when I spend too much time with my mother wandering isles grocery shopping - I was bored. And not only was I bored, poor lodge management was starting to wear on me. As I rearranged thousand dollar pottery pieces, I weighed the pros and cons like my mother taught me so well. I didn’t have any paper close by me or else I probably would have drawn out a T-Chart to help organize my thoughts. In my moment of frustration the ‘Cons’ were taking a large advantage over the ‘Pros.’ I was not feeling it that day. I was not enjoying how things were going, and felt like my time was extremely limited. It’s almost like returning to my mission days – all day every day. Next came the ‘Pro’ side, which ending up winning the battle – as by my still being here. Working at the lodge gave me a place to stay while not in the woods. Almost like living at home, my room and board was free. I didn’t have to pay rent nor worry about buying food. My only expense has been gas and the occasional oil change. I calculated a $1000 swing to my advantage by staying at the lodge. 1: I earn about $500 a month. 2: I don’t pay rent. (others are paying anywhere from $200 - $500) And 3: I eat for free. With that $500 a month I have been able to pay for all my tithing, gas, and other adventures – enabling me to pocket all my wilderness earnings.
My conclusion was this: I stay at the lodge because of money. 1000 bucks for 10 days work is too good to pass up.
I tell you all of this because it wasn’t a day later that I found myself brought into the manager’s home and sat down on their couch where I was almost fired for misconduct.
We were closing up the kitchen when one of the others yelled for me. “Hey David, La wants to see you.” Slightly confused, I walked out front to see Laura waiting for me. She had me follow her around to the store and into her apartment off to the side. “Come on in, David.” Salesi, her husband, was picking up a few of the scattered toys in the living room and welcomed me in as well. I was directed to the couch where I sat down and wondered what was going on. They seated themselves on a second couch directly across from me. Though I now can’t remember exactly how it started, I know that I saw the schedule notebook in Sale’s hands and thought it might be possible that they wanted to go over my work schedule with me. I was partially correct. La brought it to my attention that the schedule notebook had been tampered with, some rewritten and changed, and now a page was missing. That page was important because they refer to the notebook to see who worked what days when the end of the month comes around and payroll is due. At this point I knew where it was going next. The rewritten part was in my handwriting, and my name was down for the next day’s schedule that they had not yet made.
I sat back in my seat a bit, and pulled a pillow on top of my lap. They knew as well as I did that it had been me. They each took their turn in lecturing me. And, like good missionaries do, they repeated what their companion had said and then further explained it. La sometimes thought it necessary to repeat what Sale had said completely - fearing that I didn’t understand his broken English. Sale sometimes thought that La didn’t explain things well enough and thus repeated all that she had just said. So I got doubly lectured on each point that they wanted to cover.
They felt that I was trying to take over management - which they had ever right to infer. I had no right to touch the schedule notebook, cause for which Sale said that I could be fired. And what’s worse is that several weeks earlier I had taken the initiative to make a schedule sheet on an excel spread sheet. I noticed that La rewrote the same thing every day on a spiral bound notebook, and thought it easier to just print off a premade sheet and fill it out instead. I stapled a handful of sheets together and put them next to the schedule notebook. What I felt was a nice gesture in the moment was being counted as evidence against me.
Part way through the lecture there was an obvious shift. I broke off eye contact, and started fiddling with the pillow on my lap. I bent over and rolled down the legs of my jeans that I had rolled up in the kitchen to keep from getting wet. Sale and La noticed the change as well, and asked me if I was alright. My response was yes, but I was now starting to get a bit irritated. What I thought ‘just lecturing’ turned into half truths and ridicules hearsays. When they had completed their circles around each other, I asked for a moment to say a few things. I pulled out a small composition notebook that I had tucked away in my pocket and scooted to the edge of the couch. My voice cracked when I first started to speak – it had been a good twenty minutes since I had last spoken. I cleared my throat and offered a preface to my pulling out the notebook, “The last couple days I’ve been making a list of things that I wanted to talk to you guys about.” I of course didn’t tell them that I had titled my list, ‘Lodge Locuras.’
I started out by explaining the schedule situation. The night before after closing we were sitting around the dinner counter waiting for whatever was next (maybe it was Mission Prep, maybe Sunday school, I can’t remember…) The schedule notebook was sitting on the corner next to me so I pulled it close and looked it over. In a moment of OCD/ACD, I started copying the schedule over to a new page. La wasn’t very organized and tended to clump everything together. I rewrote the same information on the next page in what I felt a more organized manner. I then took the initiative to write out the next few days as well. I didn’t fill out who was to be working where or when, but set it up similar to my spreadsheet so that La would only have to write in names, nothing else. Once that was done, I put my name down where I thought would work best right before leaving for the woods once again. Having explained that, I concurred that I had no right to touch the schedule, and that it would never happen again. However, I wasn’t going to take blame for the missing page.
I then referred to my list of Lodge Locuras and explained several issues that had occurred that bugged me. My biggest problem was miscommunication. Everyone in the lodge complained about it, but I especially felt it because of the disconnect I had.
Issue #1 - Several weeks ago a backorder bracelet was misplaced. I had talked to the lady the week before, but knew nothing of the bracelet and referred her to another employee. Never associating further with the lady or laying eyes on the bracelet, I left for the woods and thought no more of it. When I returned, the lady had come by to pick it up and to pay the final amount. However the bracelet was nowhere to be found. In Laura’s frustration she pointed fingers at everyone trying to locate the lost bracelet. I had not yet been blamed for misplacing the bracelet so La turned her whirlwinds on me. I told her that I didn’t really know anything – to which she spit out that I was the one who talked with the lady first, and that ‘no one seems to have ever seen the bracelet.’ I felt mistrusted and irritated that she was blaming all of us for losing a bracelet that she should have held on to herself.
Issue #2 – A few weeks ago I was in my room getting ready for the day. I was scheduled to work Rover (the dude who does everything… kind of rotates between gift shop/kitchen/waiter, etc). I assumed that I was to start at 11 instead of 9 because I was going to be helping Sale tile the diner floor again. The last few days we have been starting late morning because Sale usually sleeps in after prepping the floors the night before. I had every reason to believe that I was going to start at eleven like usual. Instead I was summoned by Laura a few hours early and told that I was late. Huh.
To be continued… (break’s over, gotta get back to work…)
-------
And we’re back!
A sub issue to this issue deals with food handlers permits. Apparently we all had to have them in order to work in the kitchen or wait tables. Laura wasn’t entirely sure or informed of the issue so none of us had them. Finally Melinda (another family member) came up for a visit and let us know that we should all get them. I had already started mine the month before – just never got around to finishing it. After finding this out, La told us that no one could work until we had completed the online course. I asked if I should finish it that night, La told me to do it in the morning - yet another reason to believe that I was to come in at 11:00 rather than 9:00.
Issue #3 – The snowmobile gang came in for the weekend and requested a banana cream or lemon morang pie. I let them know that all we had was cherry and blueberry, but that I would put in their request to the kitchen – no promises. I then asked fellow employee Carolyn if she knew how to make either of those pies, because the boys had requested them and had offered to pay double for them :). She said that she might be able to, but that she would have to check with La for permission before starting. I said excellent and washed my hands of the situation. Later when La asked Carolyn why she was making those pies – all hell broke loose in the back bakery. I felt like Carolyn was being picked on rather harshly so I stepped in and offered that I was involved as well. I told my side of the story and left. Well – over the next few hours and into the next day (the day I got pulled into the office) the story evolved into that I had given Carolyn permission to make the pies – leading us back to the original and mother issue of them all – me trying to take over management…
I concluded by saying that I hated the feeling of not being trusted, and offered that our main problem was communication – or a lack thereof. After having explained my side of a lot of things, they understood where I was coming from a lot better. La opened up and told me a bit of her life story – how being a twin she tended to be the one in the shadows trampled over and taken advantage of. This was her big chance to prove that she is capable of manning the lodge and she didn’t want to screw it up. The conclusion that I drew was that in trying to be a good boss she is pumping a lot of energy into her job. However, being the new boss – she feels that her hands have to be in everything and that those things have to be perfect – thus paying too much attention to minor details and ignoring other issues that should take priority.
Oh! – I forgot to mention that during their circle lecturing, they were kind enough to point out a few positive things – that I was a good hard worker, could be trusted with lots of projects, I brought an energy to the lodge, and that they enjoyed having me there.
At the end of our meeting Sale shook my hand and Laura gave me a hug. Though I hated being in the hot seat, I feel like I now have a better understanding of management – even though I disagree with their methods sometimes.
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